Celebrate Your Milestones!
DENISE HILL… THIS IS 40!
Wow this is forty! Born and raised in Louisville, Kentucky and I relocated to Los Angeles, California 15 years ago, at the age of 25. The woman I have molded into today is the result of life experiences from both cities. I am excited and nervous about what city will contribute to my womanhood in this next chapter.
I am a graduate of the University of Louisville with a degree in Paralegal Studies (which I’ve never used), with over 20 years of healthcare experience and the owner of Affirmation Effect alongside my husband. I have two wonderful boys Michael (17) and Hartman (20). Hartman is my bonus son from my current marriage who has absolutely been a blessing to my life.
I've been married for almost 12 years now to Allister who is a wonderful partner and father. My marriage is also a huge consideration in this next chapter. As I continue to evolve it is important for me that my marriage is also evolving, and we continue to fight every day to fall in love repeatedly. I understand the challenges, ups and downs of marriage however, it’s important to me that we continue to evolve as we approach the next phase of marriage as empty nesters. Since my husband and I are entrepreneurs, building our brand is important and sometimes it takes priority over our marriage.
At times celebrations and wins are minimized to pour into the business, however I refused to allow that to be the case with my upcoming birthday. I didn't want it to be just another day, this will only happen once in my lifetime so I decided it would be celebrated my way. So, I am headed to the Cayman Islands to celebrate my 40th birthday, God willing.
Lately, I have found myself being in a place of questioning who I am as I approach this milestone birthday. My identity has been defined by being a great daughter, even from a young age, a wife and a mother. Now that Michael, my youngest son, is approaching 18 years old this year as well, I'm a little confused about what my identity will be. I've spent the last 18 years trying to be the best mother that I could possibly be and I feel like I have accomplished that. Since Michael was 3 years old my time has been consumed by attending basketball games, school meetings, and his momager on set when he’s filming. This next level of adjusting my mothering role will be interesting to say the least. Who knew the empty nest syndrome was a real thing!
When you're a mother you sacrifice so many of your own dreams, goals, and wants, for your children. Although I have always known that one day my son would leave the nest, as that day quickly approaches I find myself wondering what’s next for me and what I will do with this new found freedom.
In preparation, I've been more intentional about the relationships I enter in and the ones I continue with my friends and family. Surrounding myself with meaningful women, Diane Woodford (www.Paths2Transformation.com), Marina Kidd (Brown Girl Productions), and Lisa (Michael’s Godmother) just to name a few has had a positive impact on my life leading to this milestone. Actually, not only meaningful women but also praying women! My mother is a minister as was my grandmother, so I've always had praying women in my life. I never really focused on the relationship my friends had with God. However, as I have gotten older that matters to me. I need to have that empowerment of praying with friends/family that can encourage me through the good and bad times.
I also try to surround myself with friends/family who celebrate my wins as well as help me get through the losses. I now know that it’s important to avoid people who are jealous or in competition with me. When you're younger you don't really think about it as much.
I'm also reflecting on evolving from perfection which is so overrated because we all make mistakes. My younger self struggled with perfection, I felt that perfection was always the goal, which meant that I should not show weakness or flaws. My advice to young women would be to surround yourself with loving people, prayer warriors, be intentional with your time, and value your peace.
Absolutely do not allow your mistakes to define you, be mindful not to give up too easily, yet, don’t hold on too long. When you find yourself at a crossroads of when to hold on or when to let go, PRAY. God will always give you direction, you just have to pay attention and follow HIS will and not your own.
The past 40 years I have experienced many accomplishments, successes, failures and growth. Stay tuned for what this next chapter holds for me!
I AM… DENISE HILL