Stay Strong?

The Joy of The Lord is My Strength

The other day I had a conversation with a young lady that I have had the pleasure of doing life with for several years now. She is a newlywed and was commenting on how blessed she was to have an amazing husband. During the conversation this young lady made the following profound statement. “Ms. Diane, I am just so happy that I don’t have to be the strong woman 24/7 with my husband.” I could totally relate, and it made me stop and think. Why is it that women, especially women of color feel the need to be so strong all the time? Why is it that there is not a moment when we feel like we can just be completely vulnerable? Wow, just the thought of this made me extremely tired and not just a physical tired but a deep down in my soul tired.

I spoke with my daughter recently and she just poured out her heart about how she is doing the best that she know how yet feels like she is still missing the mark, sometimes. She went on to express how tired she was trying to hold it all together and be the best mom that she can be for her son and my amazing grandson. Sometimes it’s not for us to try to fix it, sometimes our assignment is to listen and offer love and reassurance. See my daughter is one of the most amazing women I know and she is so strong in many ways, when she put her mind to anything she achieves it.

I am not sure if being strong is something we are born into, choose to become, or a mixture of both. What I can say is my inner strength was activated by a life of struggles, challenges, and being the eldest child. For years I have heard, your too bossy, your to opinionated, you are a great leader, you are a loyal friend, you are so encouraging, you are so inspiring and YOU ARE SO STRONG!

YOU ARE SO STRONG, hmmmm can I just take a moment and share what that has meant for me. Well starting with growing up if there was not enough to go around as the eldest I would get skipped and because I was a good big sister that was okay! Well it wasn’t okay and for a season it impacted on how I shared or actually not shared with my younger sisters. Fast forward to adulthood because people perceived me as strong, I would be talked to in ways that were not always kind but because I was strong I could take whatever they felt the need to say to me straight no chaser. I have feelings and just because I don’t break out in tears doesn’t mean that my feeling weren’t hurt. The worst part is the same people that dish it out can not take it, and when I respond strongly the title of the villain is quickly assigned to me.

There has to be a better way to live STRONG and although I don’t know what that is, I am striving to discover or create it. During the last few years we have lost many STRONG people, not because of the virus, believe it or not to DEPRESSION AND SUCICIDE! Unable to meet the expectations of the masses of being the STRONG person or just feeling overwhelmed watching their loved ones battling life unsuccessfully, and dying day after day! The sad part is when a STRONG person take a moment to recharge or have a moment of weakness it’s like the world has ended. People can be so unkind and brutal with the remarks and treatment of a STRONG person seeking self-care.

We need to revisit the way we see staying strong and then change the narrative. JESUS WEPT!