STAND

STANDING MATRIARCH

“Diane, if you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything!” My mother would say these words to me growing up, every time I was on the fence about something, or if I was just going along to get along! Although I did not fully understand the significance these words would have on my life at the time, now I fully underSTAND.

The fence is a comfortable place to be, especially when you want to keep the peace or be perceived as neutral. Now just to be clear neutral can be a stance, for instance a child not wanting to pick one parent over the other. However, if being neutral is your go to or primary stance, that could be seen as an escape goat to taking a stand. Neutral (1) not helping or supporting either side in a conflict, disagreement, etc: impartial. (2) having no strongly marked or positive characteristics or features. ~ Oxford Languages Definitions

Reflecting on the above definitions of the word neutral, I would like to pause and say ‘THANKS MOM” for encouraging me to take a stand. I am sure during my teenage years my mother may have had second thoughts about instructing me to take a stand because often my stance was opposite of hers. However, I do believe as an adult my mom is pleased at the way I stand for Love!

Although standing for love may sound glorious or romantic, trust it’s neither. Standing for love often places me outside of the populus and even though at times it can be lonely, the reward of taking the stand is always comforting. Growing up I recall being attracted to the unseen, or underdog for some reason I would befriend them and let them know that I saw them! Most of the times this was a beautiful experience however there were times when it was not. Some people do not want to be seen, do not want to be friends, and do not want love. Many times, my mom would have to pull me away from such people because I just could not understand why someone could choose not to be seen. I have since learned that there are many reasons for this choice with shame, fear, and trauma as common reasons. Even though I could have chosen to fence my stand for advocacy and love, I decided to stand taller for them.

As a mom of two amazing adults of my own and countless adults in love, I have always encouraged those entrusted in my care to “Stand for something so that they will not fall for anything” funny how I find myself quoting my mom more and more everyday. My mom is a wise woman, how fortunate for me and those assigned to my care to have her wisdom flowing amongst us.

Just to be clear it was not always easy going up with my mother because she would boldly take stands for love, justice, and those in need. My mother’s stands were often embarrassing and humiliating for us growing up, not because they were wrong, more so because they were not popular. Even though me and my sisters did not fully understand at the time that mom was empowering us to take a stand. In her infinite wisdom mom was not only telling us to get off the fence, but she was also showing us how to take a stand and in doing so we stayed off the fence.

Together my mother now has four generations that will STAND for her and by her side because we have chosen not to fall for being fenced!

~ONE LOVE DIANE

Thank You for Reading!